Mom lashes out at daughter after she uninvites her from family Christmas when she plans to bring her live-in boyfriend of 1 month: 'She makes horrible life decisions'

The holidays are just as good at pushing family apart as they are at bringing them together.

Because of the expectation that everybody spends this time with their relatives, it can quite easily put extra stress on already strained relationships. It is a very common time for problem family members to cause issues, sometimes before the big day(s) have even taken place. It can make what is supposed to be a celebration into a nasty memory.

For those who wind up being a part of the household that is expected to host festivities, ensuring that things go smoothly can involve some difficult decisions. If somebody is looking like they are going to be a bad guest, it can be that the best decision is to leave them out of proceedings altogether. The only hard part is breaking the news and standing firm if any protests start to take place.

Author image for Ally Perry Ally Perry
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  • a woman looks upwards with a thoughtful expression against a plain gray background
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • In this story, a daughter decided that it would be best if her mom didn't travel to join her and her family for Christmas after she changed her plans for the holiday behind her back. She and her siblings all agreed that their mom could be difficult and had a habit of making hasty life changes that could end up having a negative effect on those around her.

    This year, the mom had moved in with a boyfriend after only dating for a month, and had been planning to drive across the country with him for the family Christmas. Her daughter thought this was inappropriate, as she did not want someone she didn't know around her children. She rescinded her mom's invite, but she wanted to know if she was being too harsh.

  • AITAH for uninviting my mom to Christmas after she tried to bring with an uninvited guest?

    My mom has always been hard to get along with. Me and my siblings all agree. She makes horrible life decisions, guilt trips us hard when we disagree and just overall difficult. But we love her and try to maintain a relationship or at least most of us do.
    via OhMaGersh
  • Well I live far away from the family and she has flown out to see me and my family several times. It's nice but I try to keep the visits shorter than a week just so we don't have
    via OhMaGersh
  • issues. Me and the family also travel back "home" too but just making the point that when she visits, she flies. It's too long of a drive for her solo.
    via OhMaGersh
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  • an older couple sits on a couch smiling as they look at a laptop together
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Well I was preparing for her visit for Christmas this year after we decided on a timeframe months ago. It was feeling weird after I kept asking for her flight info, if she was having Amazon deliver Christmas gifts for the kids, and other questions that she just kept dodging.
    via OhMaGersh
  • My siblings found out and told me that a guy she met a month ago had moved in with her. This info plus a couple others lead me to the conclusion that she is planning to drive with this guy she doesn't know on a long distance trip toour home for Christmas.
    via OhMaGersh
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  • After some major avoidance, she finally texts me and tells me the plan after I asked for the third time for her flight info.
    via OhMaGersh
  • I take some time to think about it all (husband agrees it's a no) and I finally end up calling her. I told her I was confused because she did not ask if she could bring anyone. I told her I'm not comfortable with someone we do not know coming to my home where my children are. I've explained this boundary multiple times to her about new boyfriends and I'm sticking by it again.
    via OhMaGersh
  • I could tell she was mad by her tone and said that she won't be seeing us for Christmas then and hung up.
    via OhMaGersh
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  • the top of a large, green, decorated Christmas tree against a white wall
    via Frames For Your Heart
  • PsychologicalSea2686 she did not ask if she could bring anyone uggggh she wanted to bring her lover into your home, and planned on just showing up at your door. TBH what kind of dude (in this case) would even want to be part of this crazy scheme
    via PsychologicalSea2686
  • OP OhMaGersh We're wondering more what's up with him. He was married 40+ years, is supposedly in the middle of a divorce and just moved states to move in with my mom he doesn't know. The whole thing is weird.
    via OhMaGersh
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  • MimZWay NTA! The nerve of her to try to bring someone you didn't invite, and she barely knows to your home. She was willing to endanger everyone. Good for you not allowing her to do this. Some people have an extra serving of entitlement.
    via MimZWay
  • Dawns_beauty NTA - The safety of your children always needs to be your top priority. I would not feel comfortable with a stranger staying in my house. Would you be comfortable if they stayed in a nearby hotel? If so, this may be a good compromise.
    via Dawns_beauty
  • smlpkg1966 What do you love about her?
    via smlpkg1966
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  • AgeAdditional4971 Here's the thing, she knew you wouldn't be happy with her bringing someone that's why she put off telling you! So, no NTA Christmas is family time
    via AgeAdditional4971
  • Library Mouse4321 Don't let her invite strangers to your home, especially with your children. Offer to get together with them some time after Christmas so you can meet her bf, but not until Christmas is over.
    via LibraryMouse4321
  • AuntieClaire Not getting along well with your mother is one thing, but for her to bring in someone she just barely met is beyond acceptable. You did the right thing by telling her not to come. You don't want that in your children's lives.
    via AuntieClaire
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  • tphatmcgee mom is ridiculous and she knows it. if it was reasonable to have a complete stranger in your home, with your kids, she would have come right out with it. she knew this was a no-go from the get-go, she was hoping to ask forgiveness later. mom is acting like a teenager, not a full fledged adult.
    via tphatmcgee
  • smilesbig NTA. Regardless of who it is - your guest can't unilaterally invite another guest into your home let alone overnight let alone many nights let alone for Xmas. Your mom is both your mom and when at your house she is also a guest. Guest rules apply. If she can't behave like a good guest then she shouldn't be invited to your home. My mom and I have a similar relationship. I usually fly into her City for 4 days, stay in a hotel and visit her for 2 out of the 4 days for no more than 2 hours
    via smilesbig

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